Danger Zone!!
West Palm Beach, Florida
Monday, August 25- 1997
Part Two
___________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
{Scene}
As the cameras come back to the
CNWF² arena, a man wearing a chef's hat can be seen in the ring. He has a crazed look on his face as he his
holding a tomato in his hand looking as if he is trying to crush it. In fact, one would think that the tomato is
putting up a fight.
_____________________________________________________________________
{Commentary}
Knee Johnson: What is this, Lex? Your idea of a joke?
Lex Victor: What are you talking about? We aren't back on the air yet.
Knee Johnson: Actually,
Lex, we are back.
Lex Victor: Oh well. That's fine with me. I hope the wrestling audience enjoyed that little info-mercial they
showed during that last hour or so. I think the audience here likes my little mockery of my own federation.
Frenchie Parker: ::Doing a great Vince McMahon impression:: OH MY GOD DID YOU SEE THAT! BAAAAAAAAAAAACK BODY DROP!
::In the ring, it can be seen
that the man in the chef's hat just threw the tomato up in the air.::
Lex Victor: I think this guy is gonna get extreme! He's bringing a table into the ring and the ref is allowing
it! Ha ha!
Knee Johnson: What do you expect, Lex? It's a damn tomato! They don't have rights!
Frenchie Parker: MY GOODNESS! He just suplexed that tomato RIGHT THROUGH THE TABLE! WHATAMANEUVER!
Lex Victor: Well, it looks like he's going for the single foot pin... oops.. he just smashed the tomato. I guess
that means that the Chef wins this match by forfeit. Well, enough of that. It's time to get back to wrestling.
::The camera changes to a view
of the commentary table.::
Knee Johnson: You
know, Lex, I have to wonder what the members of the federation are going to think of this.
Lex Victor: You know, Knee, all these guys were trying to hide behind the corporation. They all accuse me of hiding
behind it, but what happens? THEY are the ones hiding. I'm right here, baby! I'm not hard to find. What I would
like to know is where in the hell are they? Everyone knows I don't sign last minute matches, so this second half
is really going to be nothing. It is going to be us wasting another thirty minutes of air time. I am glad I found
an info-mercial that wanted some sign. Oh well, we get one more match to show. I really don't think anyone cares
anyway, but I'll put it on. Heck, DSF and HBK showed up, so I might as well let them fight. They both want this
match, but it's kind of funny how niether of them even wanted to show up! They were actually complaining about
this! Oh well, let's get this match going.
::The camera changes to a view
of the walkway.::
{Walkway}
As Da SuPerFan walks out, Heartbreak
Kris comes from behind and hits him from behind. Da SuPerFan isn't knocked over, but he turns around and begins
to brawl with Kris. Slowly, they both start brawling their way to the ring.
{Commentary}
Frenchie Parker: Those two really hate eachother!
Lex Victor: Yeah. Probably explains why they didn't want to fight eachother.
Knee Johnson: I really
don't think this match is ever going to make it to the ring, Lex.
Lex Victor: Personally, it doesn't really matter to me what happens because I have already been screwed by my
own federation. How much would it hurt if it never actually got started? But those two are smarter than that. They'll
get it going.
{Walkway}
Da SuPerFan throws Kris into
the ring, then gets in himself. The match now begins as the ref rings the bell.
___________________________
Da SuPerFan vs Heartbreak
Kris
6'-7", 285 lbs -- 6'-1",
225 lbs
(Singles, One fall, no count out,
no disqualification)
___________________________
{Match}
Da SuPerFan and Kris are really
going at it in the ring. Da SuPerFan, having a clear size advantage, really is taking it to Kris. He throws him
down hard to the canvas and stomps on him. He then throws him into a ring post and runs at him with a clothesline.
{Commentary}
Knee Johnson: So Lex? I hate to be a jerk and everything, but why the hell did you sign this match anyway? I really
don't think either of them care about it anymore. I mean the last time I saw Kris, he didn't even mention Da SuPerFan.
Now, I am a big Kris fan, but seriously, I don't think either of them really care for this match. Why sign a match
with such tough stipulations when niether guy really cares?
Lex Victor: This
match has been in the making for a long time, and now that it's here, niether of them care. In fact, Kris was furious
when he found out he was going to have to keep up his workout schedule for it. Well, if that's the way people want
to treat the CNWF², they don't have to be here! I really don't give a damn about all the bitching and complaining
I hear from everyone. You realize I am going to hear bitching and moaning no matter who wins this match? Hell,
I might as well go up there and pull another Pelius, only this time screw them both over!
Frenchie Parker: Damn, Lex! You sure are pissed these days!
Lex Victor: Well, I try to put out a great product, but my own employees think there are better things to do.
Ah well. We'll just see how things go.
{Match}
Kris slides out of the ring really
quick as Da SuPerFan attempted a clothesline. He goes out and gets a chair and gets back in the ring with it. He
hits Da SuPerFan right across the face with it pretty hard knocking him to the ground. The large man is now on
the canvas grabbing his face and it looks like a gash has been opend in his forehead. Kris is going for the cover.
1..2..kickout.
{Commentary}
Lex Victor: Oh yeah! Look at that! What a chair shot! Why the hell am I so bored watching this match?
Frenchie Parker: I think it's a great match, Lex. In fact, I think this is a top notch card.
Lex Victor: I get tired of hearing that bulls(CENSORED)t,
you know. Everyone tells me that my shows are great. Just look at this crap! Some guy attacking a tomato, seventy-five
percent of the original card dropped... oh, this is really great! CNWF² is the place to be! This is where
the action is! You know what the real action is going to be?
Frenchie Parker: What, Lexy baby?
Lex Victor: It's going to be me signing the release forms for several wrestlers! Hell yeah! That is going to be
a lot more exciting than any match that happens here. When I start firing people, that's when people will get interested.
Like I said, Mad Max is already fired. I don't even know where in the hell he is. Who's next? Who knows!
Knee Johnson: You aren't going to fire us, are ya Lex?
Lex Victor: As much as I hate you guys, I wouldn't fire you. You guys love being a part of this organization about
as much as I do. And you guys prove it by doing your best every night when you guys have to call a match. You guys
won't be fired, but all these ungreatful wrestlers will be.
Frenchie Parker: Oh wow! Da SuPerFan just surprised Heartbreak Kris with a suplex right on to that steel chair! What
a match!
Lex Victor: Those aren't steel chairs. Those are aluminum. When the hell did people start calling them steel chairs
anyway?
Knee Johnson: We have hardly even been doing our job today, though, Lex. I mean we have been talking about personal
matters in the CNWF² a lot more than we have been focusing on the matches.
Lex Victor: That's because this match for one is dull! Oh look! The Ghetto Blaster! That has to be it! One! Two!
Three!!! Yes! I get to hear Kris bitch and cry to me now! Yahoo! Well, when he does, I'll just have his release
form ready to send out because I know he is going to bitch. Personally, I really don't care anymore. In fact, I
think I am in a firing mood today. If anyone comes and complains to me today, they are gone.
___________________________
Da SuPerFan by pin via Ghetto
Blaster
___________________________
::The camera changes to a view
of the commentary table.::
{Commentary}
Lex Victor: Well, what a great match I have to say!
Knee Johnson: If you say so, Lex. I still am an HBK fan. I mean we have the same initials. We are also both cool.
Lex Victor: I remember when you mistook him for a white guy! Now that was funny! I mean the guy is Filipino! What's
your problem?
Knee Johnson: I meant he was cool enough to be white. I mean he acts just like us.
Lex Victor: ::smacks Knee in the back of the head.:: You are still an idiot. I mean you don't have to be white
to be cool, you know. In fact, some of the least cool people I know are white.
Knee Johnson: ::rubbing
the back of his head:: Like you, Lex.
Lex Victor: Oh well.
It really doesn't matter anyway. Kris is going to complain a whole hell of a lot, and when he does, that's it.
I have had enough of all this crap. If you people want to complain, get a leg to stand on first. Kris is a guy
who I have cut a lot of breaks because he complained. I gave him a shot at the World title after he cried that
his title match before was a screwjob. I have pretty much let him have his way in CNWF², CNWF, and CWF. Well,
not anymore. Kris, just come on over and complain! I am waiting for it! You always do, so don't hold back.
Frenchie Parker: I really can't blame you for being pissed tonight, Lex. I mean look what has happened to the show.
You had to put an info-mercial right through the middle of it and the main event match was nothing. Way to put
your foot down, Lex!
Lex Victor: Well, we have a packed crowd here, but the ratings are going to suck. They will be counting the time
when we weren't even on as our time. since no one watched the show, we won't get anything. Oh well. I am just waiting
for the complainers so I can start firing. Come on, guys! Let's go! I am ready! Ha ha ha!
Knee Johnson: Cool down, Lex! Damn!
Lex Victor: Knee, do you realize that this show is longer than some feds pay per views? And how many matches did
we have?
Knee Johnson: Three, if you count the guy with the tomato.
Lex Victor: Well, that wasn't even a fully aired match and that was longer than a lot of fed's matches. And how
many people are paying for the air time?
Knee Johnson: You're the only one I know of, Lex.
Lex Victor: That's right, Knee. For other feds to do the same thing, they need about six people paying for the
air time. Here, I always have been the only one to pay. I let someone else air a show once, but it didn't count
for CNWF. It had our wrestlers, but it was more of an exhibition. Ah, who cares anyway. You know, tonight has proved
beyond a shadow of a doubt that CNWF² sucks. I mean everyone begged me for all this action, and when I give
it to them, they all cop out! It just plain sucks!
Frenchie Parker: I hear you, Lex.
Lex Victor: Well, it doesn't really matter a whole lot to me. I mean the members asked for it, so they got it.
They asked to get screwed, so I gave it to them on a silver platter. They asked for tonight to suck because they
didn't do their part. I really wanted this to be the beginning of the beginning for the CNWF², but I guess
the wrestlers just aren't ready. Ah, oh well, that's fine.
Knee Johnson: Alright, Lex. I see.
Lex Victor: Anyway, I just want to tell our good old friend Kain Piller who accused me of being a midget that
he is dead wrong. The Good Lord Pelius is six foot four and I came up to his shoulder. No midget is that tall.
I am a good ten inches taller than any midget going strictly by the maximum height of a midget. That means most
of them are smaller than that. So I just thought I would clear the air on that one. I am only about an inch below
average height. But Kain, everyone may be a midget to you, but your mind is midgety compared to mine. None of you
still have any clue as to why I have done what I have done in CNWF². None of you even know what that Pelius
incident really stood for. Also, you all get on my nerves, so let's just kill the cameras and let the network decide
what to do with the last ten minutes of this segment. The guys in attendance want out of here. They were bored
with that last match, so I'll let them all go and do what they would rather be doing. See ya, suckers!
Knee Johnson: Control yourself, Lex! You don't want Chaos breathing down our necks rignt now!
²³²³²³²³²³²³²³²³²³²²²³²³²³²³²³²³²³²³²³²²
CNWF²
CYBERNETIC WRESTLING FEDERATION²
DANGER
ZONE!!
Monday
08-25-1997
²³²³²³²³²³²³²³²³²³²²²³²³²³²³²³²³²³²³²³²²³²³²³²³²³²³²³²³²³²²²³²³²³²³²³²³²³²³²³²²³²³²³²³²³²³²³²³²³²²²³²³²³²³²³²³²³²³²³²
©1997 Cybernetic Productions
All rights reserved.
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